Avoid Getting Played

Who wants to get played? Left to pick up the pieces after another failed relationship, wondering how you didn’t see it coming, why you stayed so long, or even, ‘Why me again?’
Avoid Getting Played gives you the framework to break the cycle: understand why you stay and who you’re really dating.
Available on Amazon

The Five Stages to Change How You Date

1
Your Patterns
Why do you stay when you know it’s not working? Uncover the unconscious behaviours and thoughts keeping you in unfulfilling relationships.
2
Define
Know who you are and what you want, before the relationship defines it for you.
3
Intentions
Are they lying to you – or are you lying to yourself? Understand the reasons behind why you’re both choosing to be in the relationship.
4
Decide
Stay or leave. Reflect and decide whether your relationship aligns with who you want to be or draws you further from happiness.
5
Repeat
Relationships evolve, and so will your level of satisfaction. Repeat the steps as often as needed.

Meet the Players

You’ve been taught to focus on their red flags. But what about the story you tell yourself to stay?
Stage 3 helps you see both sides. The thoughts we often use to rationalise our partner’s undesirable behaviours while inadvertently excusing our own actions.

Your Partner’s Intentions

What are their actions really telling you?
Their behaviour tells you about their intentions.

Smooth Talker

The romantic salesman. They say all the right things, make grand promises about your future together, and shower you with gifts and sweet gestures.

You fall for who you think they are, only to realise the performance was distracting you from who you’re actually dating. Before you know it, you’re invested in the future they sold you.

Outright Uncommitted

They tell you they don’t want a relationship, but continue behaving like they’re in one. You hang out, act like a couple, and slowly start treating their presence as a sign that they’ve changed their mind.

Before long, you’re chasing the commitment they already told you they didn’t want to give.

Your Intentions

What are you telling yourself to justify staying? The reasons and justifications we use hide our intentions.

Buying into Future Plans

A Smooth Talker’s playground. They sell you the dream, and you start filling in the details.

A promise of a future together can become so alluring that it blinds you to the person you’re dating. You become fixated on what the relationship could do for you. You stay for the plan, not the person.

Turning a blind eye to bad qualities

The pull toward a relationship can be so strong that we cling to it at any cost. They mistreat you, yet you convince yourself that’s not who they really are.

You want so desperately for things to work that you overlook less desirable qualities – you stay, ignoring the damage the relationship is having on you.

These are just a few of the intentions covered in Stage 3. Understanding both sides changes how you see the relationship, and your role in it.

What Readers are Saying

This book is a great guide to understanding why you may be stuck in certain relationship cycles. I find myself using and recommending the exercises to friends.

– Charlene, Advance Reader

This book is every Lover Girl’s guide to conscious dating. Every big-hearted woman needs one in her hands. It’s an honest, deeply validating roadmap that bridges the gap between loving deeply and standing firm in your worth. Instead of forcing you into cold rules or game-playing, it equips you to trust your intuition, advocate for your needs, and keep your heart open without compromising your standards.

– PM, Advance Reader

I loved this book. It’s a book that focuses on positive life reflection. It encouraged me to look into my own life and challenged me to take a stand and make a difference, despite the outcome.

– Sammie, Advance Reader

Always Choose Peace
Share this book