About Chiko

I discovered I was a side chick to a man I deeply loved. The truth of it crushed me, but I promised myself I’d never let someone’s actions destroy me again. I threw myself into learning: podcasts, YouTube videos, all the self-love content I could find. I was determined to make better choices next time.

Years later, someone new came into my life. I wasn’t particularly drawn to him, but he seemed to embody everything I’d learned a ‘good guy’ should be, so I gave it a go. Slowly, things changed, but instead of trusting my unhappiness, I stayed patient and did everything to save us. The relationship ended when I discovered he’d been having a secret affair all along. That revelation shocked me to my core, and that’s when the real journey began.

I spent weeks asking myself: Why did I stay? Why didn’t I walk away when I wanted to?

What led me to getting played again?
Then it hit me. Everything I’d learned focused on identifying red flags in them or fixing the relationship. But no one taught me how to look at myself: the small things I ignored, justified, and accepted. The things that made me stay.

To break the cycle, I needed something practical. That’s what led to the five-stage approach that became this book. After years of writing, reflecting, testing, and editing, I published Avoid Getting Played, a book I wish I’d had when I was still figuring it all out.